A few horrible links.

Well links to my audio horror work that you may not have heard and yeah I do have to keep writing this thing as if anyone reads it. It's quite cool that this blog has been going since I was 26. I am now 38!

It's not often updated but that's the norm I guess but at least I can show you a few things of what I have done:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLVIIpvTL3c&t=79s




That's a story called Bull that I did for a series called Fragments of Fear.






https://www.mixcloud.com/LoriHajiTura/tgs-01-something-else-came-by-james-stanger/

This is for a story I did for a friends radio podcast, a story called Something Else Came.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmYRL6xhdf8&t=2s

...and there's a an interview I did for Fragments of Fear.

Hope you enjoy all of that. Looking forward I am hoping on starting out my own audio horror projects. Possibly my own podcast, time will tell. I'll link it here if I end up doing such.

Two years absence...

There has been  another gap between this and the last entry, though this fares slightly better than my writers blog which has gone without anything new since 2011.

As an excuse however I can say my efforts with writing have taken on to things like Social media, something of which has developed beyond personal vanity in the 5 years gap. I think it has at least, well you can at least put your writers page on there now and it reaches people quicker.

I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore but I don't think that's the entire point, what I will do however is put a link up on my Facebook page this blog and no doubt if have read this far you would have arrived here via that link.

Life is exciting like that.

I actually have a few ideas of what to put in this blog later on, I could go on endlessly about politics but to put it nicely...FUCK OFF!

I do indulge in that but Facebook makes it so that you get utterly sick about reading about it and feel even more jaded with writing about it. So I think something else will suffice for now. Something I enjoy and find interesting and if you like it well...that's the ticket.

I'll find out what exactly I want to do here as time goes by and maybe one day I can make a book out of it and thus burn it afterwards.

New home.

I suppose it's a good idea to talk about the fact that I am going to getting my own place soon(ish) and when I say my own place, no I don't mean I will own it.

I just mean a place to call my own space. Weirdly life worked out so that I ended up doing this at 35!

Now 35 is pretty old to be doing this a number of my freinds and peers and are mortgages. With me I was at college and up until my mid-twenties and then I met someone and moved in with her for about 3 years. We broke up and I spent two years at my parents retraining for a different career path. That didn't work out but I started talking to my ex and we made up and again I moved in with her this time for about 4 and half years.

Now we come to the present day and here I am back at my parents only this time I am going to be getting my own space because let's face it I am far too old to be with my folks and I am not waiting to move in with some. No that's a bad idea.

I often wonder just how many people my age are in exactly the same situation as me, I never really managed to crack moving away when I was much younger. I worked enough to be able to afford to do it but I also enjoyed spending that money and I had my own difficuties that made things ten times harder.

I suppose there is no outstanding, striking reason for me to be telling you all this but you may well feel you know me better by reading this. 

A whole year.

This blog was pretty much forgotten. If not forgotten it was stored in the dusty recesses of my brain with a well meaning intention of writing it again.

Then someone asked to see it and I had the chance to look at it again, I understood that this is what I was doing only in pad paper form.
I felt that I had something fresh to write again and that my perspective was worthy of putting in a blog. Let me tell you that a lot has gone on in the time of the last entry. Things I will explain later and in more detail. It's nice for now to just come back here.

I would like to try and brighten up the place however or at least renew things.

I'll be back again, I promise.

Weeds keep returning.

I think at this time it is wise I restart my blog, my own personal blog. Not the writing one that has been the source of much frustration and dissapointment (much like my actual writing or lack thereof) but instead my own.

For my thoughts and maybe for my own sanity.

It suits me that there are millions of these pieces of personal muse on the internet because burial feels secure and warm in the seasons cold day.

Putting down something personal actually feels more painfull in retorspect, the honesty stings when time has elapsed. To look back upon how you felt and what you have written about makes me skin crawl.

I have no idea why.

I think it's a form of acute embarassment along with the fact I hate reading my own writing in the main.

I need to articulate how I have been feeling for last two months, you see a depression unlike I have felt in a substaintial amount of time has transported itself over me. Currently brooding it's black mass over my head I do not really know what to do to shift it and maybe worst of all I do not know if it is worth doing so.

Feeling completely lost, exsaughted and ready to just give in brings me to a destination where I look out and wonder what exactly I have done or achived throughout my time.

Just faliure and relenting when I should persisted.

You may think you are in emotional trouble when you feel the pain but I think I have out the truth is that you are in trouble when you feel numb. Or at least jaded with the odd invasion of incredulios laughter.

So all of that, what I have just written. What is it for?

Well nothing as such, nothing you can use but maybe a step in getting this inky loathing out of my system.

I don't know what to do, I don't know how to think, if what I am thinking is correct, if it's wrong, if what I am feeling is wrong, how to be right, why to right. All ecompasing confussion and ever growing gllom fogs my heart and I just want to curl up and dissapear to somewhere other than here and be anyone else other than me.

The flats cold.

It's as simple as, up too early on a saturday morning and the flat is too cold and I don't even think I have enough milk for a cup of tea.

Bollocks.

A few more detials on the blog change.

Just so all that read this know I am going to be changing this blog for the better,my persoanl accounts and feelings on all and sundry is now here. I am not sure what yet as I am yet to create another account and move my personal stuff to said address.

This new blog will be about small press horror reviews,my writing and stories and whatever I feel makes good reading and relates to the small presses and horror.

Well it will develop but the main themes will be Small press horror publications (leaning towards the British ones) and my own writing.

Keep your eyes peeled...with an AXE!