My mind has been turning to things that can get me though the next couple of months while I don't have work,I don't sign on due to a recent vicious social stigma against people who claim benifits.
Despite the fact I do look for work I can't take the way I am looked at by the dole office folk and the scape-goatting headlines in papaers like The Daily Hell.
So until I get work I need some cash just so I can do basic things and I have basicly sold all the things I want to sell and now I am thinking of selling the things I don't want to sell.
...and that means thinking about selling my collection of Hulk comics and if I do I need to highlight my favourtie story in my collection so maybe you can pick it up somewhere (maybe off me) and enjoy it as much as I did...well still do:
By the late 80's and early ninties the Hulk was Gray,shorter and a tad weaker but he was cunning,smart and played the world on it's own cruel terms. As a side note he wasn't even that weak it just took him longer to get as strong as he used to be in his green days.
Anyway as this different persona of the Hulk now relocated to Las Vegas as an enforcer and only come out at night this left Bruce Banner with the day to figure out a cure to his curse. After one brutal fight with a demon in Las Vegas which saw The Hulks boss' casino damage to great expense The Hulk was fierd.
Again Hulk and Banner wonderd the Nevada dessert and Banner managed to get work as a caretaker in a scinetific complex and managed to befriend a scientist there.
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Try not to....
Some vauge rules that lead to inactivity:
Try not to think/worry too much about doing things and just do them.
Try not to compare where you are to where they are.
Try not to look back or else walking foward is difficult.
Try not to hate yourself.
Try not to take notice of what you think people think of you.
There are others actuley lot's of things but in my opinons these things are really important and mostly unmasterd by myself but it doesn't stop me trying.
I suppose another important one is:
Try not to stop trying :)
Well I am off to try and finish this story I promised to finished by the end of month.
Try not to think/worry too much about doing things and just do them.
Try not to compare where you are to where they are.
Try not to look back or else walking foward is difficult.
Try not to hate yourself.
Try not to take notice of what you think people think of you.
There are others actuley lot's of things but in my opinons these things are really important and mostly unmasterd by myself but it doesn't stop me trying.
I suppose another important one is:
Try not to stop trying :)
Well I am off to try and finish this story I promised to finished by the end of month.
Saturday, 15 November 2008
The Trick Trick to being homophobic.
Strange how politics is distracted with the phantoms of violent Hip-Hop lyrics supposedly sending all our children to grasp their AK'S and Glocks.
The truth being is that both Hip-Hop and gang violence are a simultaneously reflection or to make it sound more cliché chicken and the Egg.
I think the main danger of violent,gun and gang celebratory music is that it stays and dulls the musics culture. Nobody wants to hear the same thing over and over so 50 Cent and your ilk take a step back and let the creative types breath you will end up saving your scene in the end.
Anyhow I find concentrating on this aspect of Hip-Hop odd when there is a much more important problem at hand with Rapper Trick-Trick being the latest spokesman for it.
Telling the world that he didn't want homosexuals to purchase his new album...[i]“Homosexuals are probably not gonna like this album. I don’t want your faggot money any goddamn way. I don’t like [homosexuality]. Carry that shit somewhere else.”[/i].
To be fair he isn't the first person to display such aggression to homosexuals,which is depressing Busta Rhymes being another artist who doesn't want "The Pink Pound" it's bullshit but it's harmfull bulshit. I scratch my head as to why this is tolerated when an outright racist comment by a musicians of similar stature would be met with the full ire of a furious public.
This is a healthy response to as racism has no place in any society so why would be put up with it in music.
In this case you can tell it's men with deeply flawed masculine insecurity's because when you take a look at their musical persona's they so desperately need you to think they are all powerfull titans of the street,the ultimate alpha male if you will.
Which in a lot of cases is just a hollow image because of their total and utter fear for gay men and they final strike of hypocrisy is their attitude to lesbians.
They celebrate woman having sex with woman....but not in a way that says yeah your like us but in that freshly baked in a porn oven way.
Yep that's right made for a guy and having nothing to do with actual lesbian culture or sexuality.
So why does this bother me soo much???
Not just because I have good friends how are homosexual...partly but also because without the Lesbian and Gay community the whole music industry would be but a fragment of what it is now. Mostly however it's because I see this whole homophobic culture not only accepted in the Hip-Hop world but sadly thriving. :(
Something tells me a few people need to grow up and be more accepting.
The truth being is that both Hip-Hop and gang violence are a simultaneously reflection or to make it sound more cliché chicken and the Egg.
I think the main danger of violent,gun and gang celebratory music is that it stays and dulls the musics culture. Nobody wants to hear the same thing over and over so 50 Cent and your ilk take a step back and let the creative types breath you will end up saving your scene in the end.
Anyhow I find concentrating on this aspect of Hip-Hop odd when there is a much more important problem at hand with Rapper Trick-Trick being the latest spokesman for it.
Telling the world that he didn't want homosexuals to purchase his new album...[i]“Homosexuals are probably not gonna like this album. I don’t want your faggot money any goddamn way. I don’t like [homosexuality]. Carry that shit somewhere else.”[/i].
To be fair he isn't the first person to display such aggression to homosexuals,which is depressing Busta Rhymes being another artist who doesn't want "The Pink Pound" it's bullshit but it's harmfull bulshit. I scratch my head as to why this is tolerated when an outright racist comment by a musicians of similar stature would be met with the full ire of a furious public.
This is a healthy response to as racism has no place in any society so why would be put up with it in music.
In this case you can tell it's men with deeply flawed masculine insecurity's because when you take a look at their musical persona's they so desperately need you to think they are all powerfull titans of the street,the ultimate alpha male if you will.
Which in a lot of cases is just a hollow image because of their total and utter fear for gay men and they final strike of hypocrisy is their attitude to lesbians.
They celebrate woman having sex with woman....but not in a way that says yeah your like us but in that freshly baked in a porn oven way.
Yep that's right made for a guy and having nothing to do with actual lesbian culture or sexuality.
So why does this bother me soo much???
Not just because I have good friends how are homosexual...partly but also because without the Lesbian and Gay community the whole music industry would be but a fragment of what it is now. Mostly however it's because I see this whole homophobic culture not only accepted in the Hip-Hop world but sadly thriving. :(
Something tells me a few people need to grow up and be more accepting.
Monday, 20 October 2008
In praise of Mills.
No not a tribute to a dead comdian,Bob Mills to the best of my knowledge IS alive and well and I hope it stays that way for many years to come (and I guess he does too).
Bob Mills is a man who has seemed to creep under the radar of main stream entertainment,he has flirted with prime time T.V but for the life of me I can't recall that much of his work in that time slot apart from an apprence in They Think It's All Over sometime in the mid-nineties.
I am well aware that he has done a lot of stand up work and is as much of a work horse of the comdey circuit as any other more celebrated comedians. The Programme In Bed With Me Dinner and it's follow up Still In Bed With Me Dinner are to me and the member that make up it's cult following forgoten classic television.
Broadcast for students,drunk heads and those who who lurk around the television set in the late hours of the night In Bed With Me Dinner used Bob Mills rye and lightly burning take on the world to make fun of some of the most obscure and stupid television clips from the U.K and abroad.
If you think this is some Tarrent on T.V style tosh your utterly wrong because where as Tarrent (and before him Clive James) basicly said "oh look at those funny foriegners good job were sane" Bob Mills just looked at the inanity and diliousion that the people in his programme clips displayed.
Yet I only know a handful of people who know about this show and only one other person who loves it as much as I do. To me that's a crime and poor old Bob Mills can't still get a look in on a new televison show,oh what I would give for this to come back.
So Bob Mills from me here is a place on the internet in praise of your work and one in the eye for those who over look you and your programme.
....oh yeah as a point of intrest Russell Brand made a show last year that was give or take an eye liner smudge or two a carbon copy of In Bed With Me Dinner....!?
It was a good programme and I do find Russell Brand funny but it just wasn't the same....it wasn't Bob :(
Oh and how could I forget my favourite word....Muggy-bonehead :D
Monday, 13 October 2008
Tears- Blood from a wounded heart/Daimonds from the souls joy mine.
Do we only notice what is really going on when the physicals signs materialise do we only actually find out the truth when visual action is displayed.
Tears and crying hold a dear and fearful fascination that draws closer to me as I grow older and learn. The truth is you and I both cry for a myriad of reasons,so many causes that they could only ever be out numbered by the fragmented eternal reflections inside a jewelled hidden chamber of mirrors.
I can only speak upon what I have felt and seen as to why we cry tears and this is what I have learned.
Tears:
Another human needs help they cry as a signal of distress to another. S.O.S it states "I am vulnerble and hurt ...help" have they been neglected or shut away the feelings they should of allowed themselves to feel.
Some say that when we cry for sadness,loss,stress or fear it could be the last resort and the steps that should of been taken to prevent it happening were sadly not done. Now is the time to clutch the hand of the other and share the strength,unburden and touch their cheek with tender care.
Stop the bleeding from the heart,stem the tears.
Have you ever felt that connection to another crying whether you see it on Television,in the street or someone close to you. It's affecting and at times causes the witness to weep too.
Tears:
Relief,Joy and Happiness this time an event is so wonderful that you cannot fully take in it's real it's unlike tears of sadness when you wish it wasn't.
Gravity is inverted here everything lifts spring is always and all you want to do is share the life in your heart with everyone.
People seem to understand exactly what to do in this situation is it because it's less complex? Probably because it's positive...but whichever it is committed actions are highly likely when someone sees you like this or you see them.
I am trying to return the blog in a slightly more eclectic style (as it was before and as it was supposed to be) things have become far to personal on here really.
So maybe this little observational entry makes a pleasant change :)
Sunday, 5 October 2008
Horror story news...Filthy Creations 5!
Right some news on what's up next from me and where you can read my latest storys,W.E.B a story that has been put on my blog is to be included in the fifth edition of one of the nets best kept secrets Filthy Creations. So I am really happy about that and a big thank you goes out to Rog Pile who not only runs and edits the publications but is also a sterling horror writer in his own right.
Dracula 1982 A.D will also see print in the third edition of The British Horror Forum Book of Horror but as I have no more information as to when this will come out I can't update anyone. The cover is completed,all the storys are there and I don't think it is too far off seeing the light of day,I would imagine you should expect this title in about November...but remeber that is just a guess.
Charles Black has also kindly gave me the opitunity to send a story in for consideration for his short story collection Black Book of Horror,this will be the third edition and I am going to try my level best to get in it.
Things as with all the publications I have had my work included in I am in the company of some extremely gifted writers (and artists) so it's always a matter of having to write at your best.
So I am off to look for a proof reader :P
Take Care.
Dracula 1982 A.D will also see print in the third edition of The British Horror Forum Book of Horror but as I have no more information as to when this will come out I can't update anyone. The cover is completed,all the storys are there and I don't think it is too far off seeing the light of day,I would imagine you should expect this title in about November...but remeber that is just a guess.
Charles Black has also kindly gave me the opitunity to send a story in for consideration for his short story collection Black Book of Horror,this will be the third edition and I am going to try my level best to get in it.
Things as with all the publications I have had my work included in I am in the company of some extremely gifted writers (and artists) so it's always a matter of having to write at your best.
So I am off to look for a proof reader :P
Take Care.
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
A break up, Sound off!!
I am at the tail end of getting over a break up I am not quite there yet but near the point where I can think about the other person and not slump back into wishes for a dead season. It's taken a lot of work and time and a ton of support from many a listening ear from all over everywhere but it seems things are starting to work.
Usually I don't say too much about personal situations like this I am far more likely be to more discrete or dot around the edges of the subject concentrating more on what I am doing rather than what happened and why it came to be.
However this time I need to get a little bit angry....I need to say a few things that has made my persona draw a little blood after an emotionally brutal period of my life...but no let's not sell the drama and too much imagery could distract from the issues I want to make clear.
So let's actually get to the point.
A break up is usually horrible and almost always 50/50 in terms of fault,whether ether party wish to acknowledge or appreciate that fact at the time is up to them, but it's not surprising within the fury of a FINAL argument that this particular fact isn't understood by the warring factions.
So then it's wise to clear the area of conflict for a time and give each other time to breath because if you don't the chances are frustrated passion and shattered dreams will turn into hatred for each other.
Contact at this point is hard because you are both going to in a state of shock this lends itself well to a numb sense of being polite to each other. Only being able to work in simple forms of "hellos","Hope your well" and maybe the odd "I'm sorry it ended like this"....for a time this keeps a lot of unnessecry hurt at bay.
The problem comes when you have been through all the motions that lead you to need to contact the other person if person A has collected all their things from person B's place there is really no need for person A to contact them. This point gains even more purchase if person B is seeing another person at this point.
Then you realise or I should say more truthfully now I realise the amount of utter loss that comes from a break up.
I don't wish for things to be back as they were because that cannot happen but to suddenly have to act in a way that you have to pretend the other doesn't exist any more not only makes me sad but angry at the total waste it all is.
To me this is what I lost:
- My best friend
- My belief support
- A person who believed I wasn't the things that I worried about being
- My lover
- My soul mate (connecting on lot's of different levels)
- My companion
- A woman who liked some of most obscure stupid,silly and down right daft things that I liked
- Home
- Future
- My love
That list makes things sound completely bleak but I assure you I have managed to claw a lot back with help from friends,family and my own will. I put a lot of the loss down to my inexperience with long term relationships I also put the loss down to the woman I was with thinking I was the man she had been looking for all her life.
The bigger tragedy is I wasn't I may well be to somebody else but not the woman I was with,she may have thought so at the time but as hindsight is always 20/20 it was only something she could have known for sure after being with me for a while. I am learning to accept that she wasn't the one for me ether and none of my anger is directed at her but all of it is at the total waste of losing someone I would have gladly been a friend of the rest of my life. I used to have a hand fasting ring which basicly meant that we were together and under pagan law acted as marriage (she was Dianic Wiccan you see) but for the life of me I can't find it which I guess is symbolic.
The good thing about writing about this on a blog which is kept as a record is that at some point I can look back at it from a much better position and with a little luck may even see the situation I am in right now as something quite alien.
This is only the end of round 1 the fight has barley begun :)
Usually I don't say too much about personal situations like this I am far more likely be to more discrete or dot around the edges of the subject concentrating more on what I am doing rather than what happened and why it came to be.
However this time I need to get a little bit angry....I need to say a few things that has made my persona draw a little blood after an emotionally brutal period of my life...but no let's not sell the drama and too much imagery could distract from the issues I want to make clear.
So let's actually get to the point.
A break up is usually horrible and almost always 50/50 in terms of fault,whether ether party wish to acknowledge or appreciate that fact at the time is up to them, but it's not surprising within the fury of a FINAL argument that this particular fact isn't understood by the warring factions.
So then it's wise to clear the area of conflict for a time and give each other time to breath because if you don't the chances are frustrated passion and shattered dreams will turn into hatred for each other.
Contact at this point is hard because you are both going to in a state of shock this lends itself well to a numb sense of being polite to each other. Only being able to work in simple forms of "hellos","Hope your well" and maybe the odd "I'm sorry it ended like this"....for a time this keeps a lot of unnessecry hurt at bay.
The problem comes when you have been through all the motions that lead you to need to contact the other person if person A has collected all their things from person B's place there is really no need for person A to contact them. This point gains even more purchase if person B is seeing another person at this point.
Then you realise or I should say more truthfully now I realise the amount of utter loss that comes from a break up.
I don't wish for things to be back as they were because that cannot happen but to suddenly have to act in a way that you have to pretend the other doesn't exist any more not only makes me sad but angry at the total waste it all is.
To me this is what I lost:
- My best friend
- My belief support
- A person who believed I wasn't the things that I worried about being
- My lover
- My soul mate (connecting on lot's of different levels)
- My companion
- A woman who liked some of most obscure stupid,silly and down right daft things that I liked
- Home
- Future
- My love
That list makes things sound completely bleak but I assure you I have managed to claw a lot back with help from friends,family and my own will. I put a lot of the loss down to my inexperience with long term relationships I also put the loss down to the woman I was with thinking I was the man she had been looking for all her life.
The bigger tragedy is I wasn't I may well be to somebody else but not the woman I was with,she may have thought so at the time but as hindsight is always 20/20 it was only something she could have known for sure after being with me for a while. I am learning to accept that she wasn't the one for me ether and none of my anger is directed at her but all of it is at the total waste of losing someone I would have gladly been a friend of the rest of my life. I used to have a hand fasting ring which basicly meant that we were together and under pagan law acted as marriage (she was Dianic Wiccan you see) but for the life of me I can't find it which I guess is symbolic.
The good thing about writing about this on a blog which is kept as a record is that at some point I can look back at it from a much better position and with a little luck may even see the situation I am in right now as something quite alien.
This is only the end of round 1 the fight has barley begun :)
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