Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Unworry about it.

Worrying is a huge waste of time if you don't actually have anything that demands your immediate attention to fix.

So the basic idea is if you have your health why worry?

I think if you live anywhere within reach of of a tap and a hot meal you will know that as noble as that sentiment is,it's not enough.

Still it's apparent that we worry about a LOT more than we should and worry is at detriment to achieving the things we want. Strange thing is we worry about the things we haven't done,lack in our lives,or the defficencys of our character/physicality's.

However the more we worry about them the less we do about them case in point ME ....so what do I worry about...well have a look:

- Not getting a job

- Ending up living at home the rest of my life

- Not finding someone to love

- My weight (surprisingly I need to put it on)

- Thinking every nasty thing that people have said about me is completely true and I have hardly any redeeming features.

That last one is a biggie and a bit complex but it's there never the less,anyway I worry about all these things but none of them are life threatening,none threaten me with immideate danger.
So logically they shouldn't be on my mind as things that make me sick with fear...they do but it doesn't make complete sense.

So if I stopped thinking about so much it terms of things that I feel are of grave concern than there is more chance of me doing something about them.
The other fact is that when you just let yourself be you find that some things do not have a lot of evidence to back them up.

The last worry inparticular....I could pick far more false examples of me being nasty than I could real ones. Nobody is perfect so accepting the real ones as part of human nature just paints you as a normal person the false ones are only made because you feel you have to justify the fear in the first place.

Being in the moment and getting lost in that moment also makes for a good way to exorcise worry the past and future are ether gone and lost or unrealised and unmade respectively.

So why worry about something that you have no control over if it has passed or indeed sabotage because it is yet to become.

I think if I get lost in anything in life it's worry,it's the fear of no matter what I do I ruin it for myself because I am afraid to do well but the good thing is if I am my own enemy I know myself better than anyone. Hence I know how to make friends with myself better than anyone.

I am quite sure because I have clean water,food,a roof over my head and people who love me I feel that I may need something to worry about because it's unnatural to have everything you need.

The good thing about writing all this in a blog is that I don't know who reads it,I don't know if they think it's good or bad and most of all I don't get advice or punishment for saying what I have.

One thing I have learned through depression and worry and that's the future is still exciting because I have been in times where I could have done something stupid but in truth never had the guts to carry out.
Then from seemingly out of nowhere something/someone amazing has come into my life and changed me and my world.

Places my have gone people my no longer be in my life but their effect is still there and in end the positive outweighs the negative tenfold.

What do we learn from this?

I don't know ether....but giving yourself a hug maybe a clue ;)

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Smashed in

Not to moan.
Not to Whine.
Not to take up your precious time.
It's no crime.
To dissapoint and pretend it's fine.
But with a mind like mine.
Broken glass empty of wine.
Held in place by ghostly twine.
I can't function.
Can't move back inline.
and one day it will fall.
All the pieces big and small.
And that's the day I go to the wall.

Christ thing must be easier than this....I don't fucking understand what's what anymore.