Yep next weekend,if all goes well and to plan I am going to revist a place that is going to be emotionaly challanging. I made a friend in this town by the coast a town that serves me with a lot of memories that at the time were great but now just reminded of a past I need to step away from.
This wasn't on purpose as I didn't know where this person lived at first and by the time I did I didn't think it was worthy of my intention because planning to meet them wasn't on my radar.
Thing is we get on pretty well and it would be ashame not to meet because of a few ghosts holding me back so I think it may be best to exsorcise them for good.
It may well help with inward recovery as this past week I have been letting my mind wallow in certain things that draw me back to a place I thought I walked away from.
My feeling is if you don't do something about it you are in danger of letting things claim you and trap you,that's not on my to do list now or ever.
I still want ...one day live in this town by the sea I feel like a belong there,my persoanlity suits it and the town allows me to be who I want to be.
I'm not going to tell you the town because it's not that important and I don't want to broadcast things too much because despite anything else I am still sensitive to other peoples feelings.
Part of me feels like not going,not facing up to things is always an easy way out but it doesn't solve anything and besides it's not just about resloving old issues that I am going.
I am there to see a friend and to have a good time to be honest that really should be the focus and it will help me to remind myself of that fact.
No doubt the result of which I will write down here a blog that despite my intentions has become incresingly more introspective and self revealing.
However I don't mind that an awful lot as at least I feel I have something to say and writing things down here helps.
Maybe I will look back in retrospect at entries like this and wonder why I ever felt this way?
I suppose that is something only time has knowledge of.
If the sun shines next Saturday that will be a good start and if I can asscociate this coastal town with something other than what burns in my memory that will be victory enough.