Taking a little exsorcise

Yep next weekend,if all goes well and to plan I am going to revist a place that is going to be emotionaly challanging. I made a friend in this town by the coast a town that serves me with a lot of memories that at the time were great but now just reminded of a past I need to step away from.

This wasn't on purpose as I didn't know where this person lived at first and by the time I did I didn't think it was worthy of my intention because planning to meet them wasn't on my radar.
Thing is we get on pretty well and it would be ashame not to meet because of a few ghosts holding me back so I think it may be best to exsorcise them for good.

It may well help with inward recovery as this past week I have been letting my mind wallow in certain things that draw me back to a place I thought I walked away from.
My feeling is if you don't do something about it you are in danger of letting things claim you and trap you,that's not on my to do list now or ever.

I still want ...one day live in this town by the sea I feel like a belong there,my persoanlity suits it and the town allows me to be who I want to be.

Unlike London.

I'm not going to tell you the town because it's not that important and I don't want to broadcast things too much because despite anything else I am still sensitive to other peoples feelings.

Part of me feels like not going,not facing up to things is always an easy way out but it doesn't solve anything and besides it's not just about resloving old issues that I am going.
I am there to see a friend and to have a good time to be honest that really should be the focus and it will help me to remind myself of that fact.

No doubt the result of which I will write down here a blog that despite my intentions has become incresingly more introspective and self revealing.
However I don't mind that an awful lot as at least I feel I have something to say and writing things down here helps.

Maybe I will look back in retrospect at entries like this and wonder why I ever felt this way?

I suppose that is something only time has knowledge of.

If the sun shines next Saturday that will be a good start and if I can asscociate this coastal town with something other than what burns in my memory that will be victory enough.

Miss it.

...

I miss it that feeling you get when you like someone and you have a feeling that someone likes you back,I miss that.

That silly feeling that gives you a silly smile just due to the fact your are talking to them....

When you see them blush because your the first person in an age to say something nice to them,the special feeling you recieve when they say it you...because you know how long it's been since anyone said anything like that.

...and it's not comming to me soon and it's only me here.

I don't like it.

I miss it.

Butchers dozen on hold.

Due recent events my short story collection Butchers Dozen is on hold for the time being,I had one complete story and three others half way finished. In note form I had the enough to write around five more tales.

However I slumped in my writing productivity and other issue that over ride this idea need to be taken care of first. What I will do for the time being is complete the three storys that are currently incomplete and submit them to various horror collections. The upside to this is when (and it is when and not if) I get Butchers Dozen back on track there will be that many more people who have read my tales and my collection will reach more people.

Lucky for me I know of a few places that are looking for stories so as long as I complete what I do there should be a shortage of places to send them to at leas....but as with everything it's no sure thing any will be printed but that's just part of writing.

I may will put a story on here again one that was suppose to be for a friends amatuer short film but was never used as things were not completed on time. The story needs some fixs but I think it's about time I put a little something on my blog so that anyone fresh to what I write can read a sample...albiet not exactly the best example :P

Where I am now

I don't usualy use my blog as a place just to talk about me (I try and varey or it gets dull) but it's probably worth bringing anyone who reads this up to speed with me.

First off I spilt up with Georgy in the middle of this April,split ups are something eveyone has been through or will and if not a tip my hat at the people who have managed to happly make thier first love thier only love. So that ment relocating back to London (bah) and moving back in with my parents...yeah I know at 29 but choice isn't always there in a country of freedom of choice heh.

So I am going to apply to study massage which isn't a cheap course and I now have to pin down some work in order just to take it...if I get in which I hope I do.
I didn't think nor want to be where I am now ethier emtionaly,finacialy or in terms of situation but as sure as unexpected things can lead to great happenings they can lend themselves well to pitfalls.

It's really a matter of scratching some optimism from an uncertain patch in my life and with around five unfinished stories and two finished I at least have material in which I can start submitting my horror again. That is core to my happiness I need to be writing and realise just how disfunctional my feelings become when I am not. Hopefully this entery isn't to mournful I try my upmost not to write anything that nears self-pity or is precieved as wound licking but just comming back from my uncles funerel (I wonder or does or indeed can put the fun in funerel :P ) I feel a little melon-colie.

Mind it was funny when I got out the car and found the black trousers I picked up to wear were actuley the wrong ones and weren't the clean ones....:o

Yep that's right I think they sported the result of a night out down the legs and it was lucky the service was only small or I would have looked like a smartly turned out vagrant ;)

So I am just going to fill a couple of college forms in and try to get some writing done today hope you have a nice day :)

Arcade art

If you love computer games then there is an odds on chance that you grew up going to the Aladians caves of seaside arcades,I would look foward to going and playing on them when I had family holidays or day trips.

Although now it seems the places have changed to endless gun simulators and car racing games that don't really offer much personality betwein them.

I suppose this is prelude to an undeserved good old days tirade....well almost.

I just loved the idea of going to the beach amusments and looking out for the latest games on offer and then talking about them with my mate Ross at school.

Double Dragon,Final Fight and Bad Dudes were firm favourites with us and we used to try and out class each other with how many street thugs we beat up.
The most violent method often out shinned the score we got and because Ross never actuley shut up he usualy managed to make his stories sound better.

Elbow block to the face indeed.

My older brother Robert used to be pretty damn good at the arcade machines and for a long while I would trapes around the machines he went on and watched him play.
At this stage I was rarely allowed any change to play the things so I watch Robert and most times was covinced that my God like brother was the best arcade player in the entire planet or at least holiday season.

Then when the years past and I grew older these machines which often housed my favourite games died out,the sweet shops near my school used to have a few machines in thier shops(a death wish if you ask me) and for a time my dreams were allowed to live.
After I had finished school I didn't really have the accsess to these machines,seasides no longer wanted the old style cabinets and game consoles stemed the demand.

Then came MAME a programme that allowed you to play old arcade favourites on your P.C,it was a blast and from here I started to apprciate the presentation that went into these things.

The flyers and cabinets often sported some brilliant niche stylised art work i.e Tron and A.P.B we all know Pacman and Space Invaders have been made into T-Shirts but I think they are missing a trick.
I would love a company to take away the logos and indetifyable markings of the art and print the art styles to clothes as there are some outstanding visuals to be seen here.


The Overdrive and City Connection pieces are good examples of art that could do well minus the game name,they could work as great art motifs on bags and other clothing.

Persoanly I am waiting for my must have arcade piece and then taking down to the printing shop and having a hoody made out of it...after I have had a Protect and Survive top done of course ;)

Hope you loved Xmas

Well it's the final day of Chrismas tomorrow(probably 12 drummers...banging or something) so I hoped you all enjoyed yourself,to be honest I could have done without the traveling but it was great to see family and freinds.

Don't you just love the mythonligy that writers create with thier characters,this is why I am absoultly in love with A-Z descriptions of characters from classical mytholigy and up to things like Marvel superheros.

It's pretty anazing when you read a copy of The marevl Universe Handbook and see a technolgical breakdown of something like Spidermans webshooters. You never quite understand the detailed care that goes into making every aspect of a characters attributes and paraphernalia.

Thing is it's important not to get too stuck on this as I found with a recent character I have written for a story I am doing. I have a list of laws and a summary of the recent history of a paracticular outworldly fellow who is about to exsist in some pages I am to pen.

I am keeping the list in as I enjoyed writing it and I am going to work it into the story so that it bolsters the alien helping the story thrive.
I have however in the past written a vast collection of character cards that just grew and grew. It was supposed to be for a novel but just ending up dying under the sheer volume of people who were designed to be in it.

So I was left with a complex plot with a host of people whom all had no future,just completly pointless really.

So that ends a rather stringy entery but Christmas has left rather...tierd see you all soon ;)

OH!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ;)

A butchers Dozen

It's been a good few months but here is(at last) a new entry.

I have a new project that I am working on that will the biggest yet concerning my writting,thanks to the places I have had my stories published I now feel that I can move up to publishing something of my own.

Lulu is pretty much a God send of ideas and makes it possible for me to create my own publication and this one will be a collection of 13 short stories by me.
Called A Butchers Dozen(a fantastic title thought of by my wife) it will consist of all my own work on a myraid of subject matter but all of them being in the genre of horror.

I thought it was about time I did something a little ambitious and seeing as I am not quite ready to write something of novel stature a collection of short horror feels like just the ticket.
This will be a big task still as many of the stories are yet to be written,yet I do have lot's of notes upon quite a few of the tales in advance. I am going to be looking through ALL my notes from years of idea collecting to see if anything can be used in my book or to see if anything from the past can spark a new inovation.

Laying in bed trying to get to sleep certainly helps you formulate new ideas and that's exactly how I hit upon the this venture I just hope all 13 stories are of good standard(at the least).
I will keep all you readers updated via my blog and will post samples/teasers as time goes by just to give you a taster as to what some of the stories will be like.

Keep well and warm,

James :)